Be the person you want to find

Added: Corey Partee - Date: 22.07.2021 07:03 - Views: 43805 - Clicks: 1573

The other day, I met a boy. Does he feel the same way?

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Indeed, when I confronted the situation, I was crushed to find out that the giddiness I was feeling was not returned. This moment was an invitation for me to look deeply at my tendencies to fall for others, idealize them, and give them power that belongs to my own dreams instead of theirs. But this time, I received the wake-up call that unless I have confidence in my own path, and am settled in my own truth, no one else who is whole will be attracted to my plea for them to fill in my gaps.

It is time for me to look at those missing pieces, wonder why they are there, and love them until they overflow. Noticing my patterns of feeling strong, then suddenly needy and dependent on external reassurance, I started to examine where my self-worth really comes from. So far, it seems to be fed from the outside in. A positive comment will send me soaring with confidence, while even a suspicion of a negative opinion or remark will send me spiraling into self-doubt.

It is clear that now is the time to notice these tendencies, and begin first and foremost by loving and accepting them. On the other hand, a wise friend suggested that if I go curiously into my darkness, with the intention solely to explore and learn, then transformation Be the person you want to find more likely to occur as a symptom or side-effect of that inquiry.

So I began to simply witness my thoughts without judgment. The rejection I felt was akin to what I experience after a breakup. In those cases, it is easy to confuse the complaints of my bruised ego with an indelible attraction to this person.

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In reality, often I want not the person themselves, but mostly just the feeling of being wanted. Having that affection withheld only causes me to crave it even more. I slowly became aware of the counter productivity of this type of parallel relationship, and of the vicious circle this ego-game creates.

And he may be right. Though I felt that he was the sort of man I would marry, I still felt a nagging itch of insatiable curiosity that lingered—a little voice belonging to a seeker Be the person you want to find is more in love with the search than with the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. There was a residual sense that my journey of love and my explorations of partnerships was not quite ready to be over. This experience also made me realize that perhaps it is unwise to bring another person into the mix until I can be satisfied, fulfilled, and settled within my own path.

For years, I have dated a cornucopia of different men with different belief systems—a stubborn Atheist, a staunch born-again Christian, an indifferent agnostic, a Shaman-in-training, an aspiring Buddhist, a cultural Jew, and a barely-practicing Muslim. Love with a man, however transient, however imperfect, has led me to step back and take a long hard look at unconditional platonic love. My aim is now to fill myself up through connection with a deeper love that swells from some universal and unquenchable source. I now intend to be a force of powerful faith and beauty that may wiggle or waver in the process of standing on its feet, but who is gentle with herself for every rise and fall, loving the self that is singular and at the same time, expansive….

It is tempting to look for Be the person you want to find else to complete us, but it is important to remember that we can nourish the dark places and flourish into the person that we have been seeking outside of ourselves. In this state of self-fulfillment, love arises first from within, and we are then open and ready for it to tap us on the shoulder when we least expect it. Photo by camerakarrie.

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Jeanine Cerundolo is a holistic life coach with a degree in spiritual psychology from Columbia University. She loves supporting others to find inner peace and their own rich creative expression through self-exploration and personal growth work. In her free time, she loves to write, especially poetry for the or the stage! Visit her at www. This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. The content on Tiny Buddha is deed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment.

Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition. Before using the site, please read our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. Click to opt-out of Google Analytics tracking. Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. Be the person you want to find not about me.

It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. I now intend to be a force of powerful faith and beauty that may wiggle or waver in the process of standing on its feet, but who is gentle with herself for every rise and fall, loving the self that is singular and at the same time, expansive… It is tempting to look for someone else to complete us, but it is important to remember that we can nourish the dark places and flourish into the person that we have been seeking outside of ourselves.

About Jeanine Cerundolo Jeanine Cerundolo is a holistic life coach with a degree in spiritual psychology from Columbia University. Web Twitter More Posts. See a typo or inaccuracy? Please so we can fix it! Did you enjoy this post? Please share the wisdom :.

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Be the person you want to find

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Be the Person You Want to Find